Aramco Expats

300 Miles from Nowhere

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Author: John A. Delves
Released 28 July 2008

John Delves in Shaybah, way out in the desert; notice the red sand.

Enshalla. Greetings and salutations.

Well it’s certainly great to be back in the good old USA. On the other hand, it was not too bad being in the Middle East and completing a training assignment that will remain with me forever. Some of you might know that I recently returned from a seven-month tour in the Middle East and have gained a whole new perspective on life.

300 miles away from the next town is nothing in the desert. You quickly learn to put things in order and it gives you a lot of time to reflect on what is important. I thought I would take a little poetic license and muse a little about the last year.

In May of 2007, I was contacted and asked if I would like to make the trip. The assignment was to be for six+ months and would involve relocating to the Middle East. “Why me?” I asked. My experience in the training field would be perfect and the assignment of getting 1200 people ready to take over leadership roles was necessitated by current conditions.

All of the students were eager to learn and work hard.

I jumped at the opportunity. After spending five weeks in a training refresher here in the states, I was off to the Middle East and an adventure like never before.

The people I befriended were magnificent. They were hospitable, friendly and so willing to learn. It was a challenge for me to keep up with their enthusiasm and desire for more knowledge. Weekends, which were on Thursday and Friday (that took some getting used to), were spent visiting new friends in the desert. Interestingly, it was almost like the old west days and the Land Rushes.

Large tents with animals tethered close by and Bedouin families who made me feel so welcome were the norm. Date growers with 300 date trees, camel herders with over 200 camels and families opened their homes (tents included) to a little guy from Georgia.

John with Enad (4) and Wadha (7). In the Middle East, Camels are kept for milk and as pets.

Prayer, as you may well know, is an important part of their lives and basically nothing gets in the way of them practicing their religion. I was impressed and took time to learn about the people and their customs. It was great.

As I said, it was a wonderful trip and one I would repeat in a heartbeat. I have included a couple of shots made over there and then I wanted to start sharing some the thoughts I had and what new ideas I have for all of us in the current economy.

I learned real quickly that I needed to spend less of my time “thinking about how bad things are and remind myself exactly how good they will be!" That, for all intents and purposes, is my message.

How many years have you all heard me preaching about a positive attitude being the key to the successful life? I had a lot of time to reflect on what happens when things go wrong. I had time to think and reflect on what happens when circumstances deal us a bad hand. It seems as if we all have a tendency to let our attitudes take the dive along with our current conditions; does that sound like you? Life deals us setbacks, some major but mostly minor, on a regular basis, but if we are going to be successful, we all need to know how to deal with them and keep our attitudes upbeat and intact!

Dinner with friends at a local restaurant “The Heritage Village.” Left to right: Ahmad Al-Ghamdi, Hisham Faer, John Delves and Abdulhadi Al-Dawood

Several people who were with me on the journey seemed to let poor communications (to the States) set them back. They let the circumstances we found ourselves in dictate their mood for the day. They went to work to do the job and then returned to the housing unit until the next morning. There was so much to see and do if you just looked for the right situation.

I firmly believe that all of us need some kind of useful tools to help us understand how we can go about our daily lives and at the same time keeping our attitude up, when the circumstances are down. So from the deep desert sands, here are a few ideas that helped me and I hope will be useful to you as we are stuck in the current situation:

STOP and smell the roses. You have all heard that one. It directs us to take some time-out. You know what happens. You are going about your day and everything seems to be going well. Then out of nowhere—BAM—when your least expecting it, it happens, disaster strikes. All of our best-laid plans begin to crumble fall apart and we wonder, now what? Sometimes circumstances surprise us and we react rather haphazardly.

Usually, this often compounds the problem and makes it worse. By reacting, we tend to operate out of our weaknesses instead of our strengths. We make decisions that were not well thought out. We function with a bad attitude that says, "I can't believe this is happening, what did I do to deserve this?"

Bander Kubaisi and his son Enad of one of Bedouin families who befriended me.

The next time you find yourself in this situation and circumstances turn against you, take some time to just step back from the problem and think. This small step will enable you to deal with the current issue rationally, instead of emotionally. This small time to reflect will allow you to put your head on straight, as it were, and get your state of mind back into its proper place.

The time to think will grant you the gift of an opportunity to choose your attitude as you face the circumstances at hand. Remember that you don't have to do or say something right then. Go outside for a walk by yourself, grab a cup of coffee, tea or a soda and relax. By doing this, you will regain control of the situation and reverse the role of the situation being in control of you.

A second sobering thought is to keep your eye on the goal. We have to make sure we keep the important things important.  Steven Covey calls it “First Things First”.  What is important to you at this very moment? One of (or maybe even) the biggest problems with a troubling situation is that we tend to let it get our focus off of where it should be. When I am in a difficult circumstance and people ask me how it is going, all I can to smile and tell them, "I am just trying to stay focused.”  When my son was learning to play soccer, I was always telling him to “keep your eye on the ball.” Keeping his eye on the ball was to say to him stay focused.

John with an 87 year-old camel herder enjoying the unfamiliar taste of Arabic coffee.

A few years back, I spoke on the topic “jet pilots don’t use rear view mirrors;” they keep their eyes straight ahead. They don’t need to see what’s going on behind them. They are traveling at 600 MPH, and at that speed all that matters is out front.

Their eyes are on the goal, they focus on the future and this keeps them out of trouble. If you find yourself getting down about a certain situation—sales are down, employees are not happy, cost are up, gasoline is way too high—sit down and take a break.

While you are relaxed and taking a breather, write out what your goal is concerning the issue at hand. Don’t try to solve everything at once. What is the biggest issue right now? Then move onto the next issue, and so on and so on. Give some thought to how you can achieve that primary goal, and then others you may have.

Focus on solutions, not problems. You are not faced with problems; you have been given some great opportunities. The squeaky wheel does get the grease, as the old saying goes, and negative circumstances don't sit idly by. Most of them scream for your attention. When we are faced with difficult situations, we tend to dwell on them. We talk about them, fret about them, and give them way too much attention. Instead of talking about problems, talk about solutions.

It was easy to sit back and enjoy life and think positive things in the desert.

Instead of spending your time thinking about how bad things are, think about how good they will be! Don't have meetings about your problems and how big they are; decide now to have meetings on the solutions and how you will implement them.

You might recall a saying I love to use with my staffers. “Don’t bring me problems, unless you have an idea on how to solve it.” Encourage employees to solve their own problems (empower them to act on their own), with an emphasis on the positive results that will come from doing so. Take some time to write on a sheet of paper any and all solutions that are generated.

Will all of them work? No! But at least you now have positive ideas with which you can fill your mind and the minds of your employees. Put these solutions to work, check on progress and provide positive feedback to those who are involved.

Your mind tends to build on itself, so when we begin to think negatively, it only adds more and more negative vibes. One thing we must do is get our thoughts and ourselves back on track with positive ideas.

An old Middle Eastern myth is that if you kiss a camel three times, you’ll get good luck.

Robert Shuler has a great message in his “tough times don’t last; tough people do” speech. Remember that circumstances are not forever. Sometimes it seems like we are going to be up to our eyeballs in the situation forever, when in reality, this too shall pass. Dr. Shuler’s message makes a lot of sense to me and I hope it does to you as well.

Whatever influence (internal and external) you can get to put your attitude back in the positive mode - do it! It must be one of our first goals to start filling your mind with good things to fuel your attitude.

Think about positive things, things you enjoy and that give you a sense of happiness and peace. One of the greatest internal powers you and I have is the power to control our own thoughts. Make the time to take the time to dwell on the good things about your life or job instead of the problems. Let your positive attitude develop from within, as well as from without. In the future, when circumstances change, you will be on top of that mountain instead of looking up from deep in the valley. Develop  a sense of hope as you live and work that will change your attitude, make you feel better and put you back on the track for positive growth!

What was the song by the group America?  Oh, I remember, “I came to the desert on a horse with no name.” The time I spent in the desert was a good time because I really did get to stop and think and reflect. Try it, you’ll like it.

Enshalla.

John Delves is a speaker with Southeastern Training & Development near Atlanta, Georgia.